Shopping Vibes
by Bomberguy789
Summary: Whether he's going out shopping or doing his daily hero patrols, Saitama has a knack for confusing... just about everyone he meets. Strange, given how blunt he is, but people always look for the deeper meaning in his words, or use them as an excuse for a fight. Summary possibly still pending, but I think this works.
1. Raven: Bandwagon Bikes

It was a peaceful day for Saitama. He was wearing his yellow and white hero uniform, and as his caped fluttered in the passing breeze he held up a small mountain of shopping between his hands. The bags were piled on top of each other precariously, as if they might fall at any moment, and as such Saitama was shuffling down the road at a moderately slow pace to prevent any accidents. It took him ages to get the bags in the right position so he could carry them at once, and that was a process he was NOT going to repeat.

" _It'll all be worth it though,"_ he thought to himself. _"I mean a 90% off sale? That's insane! Dam, was I lucky to have been returning from the bank down in Vale, or I would never have found this! I'm gonna be fed for a week!"_

Now, Saitama lived in Village Z, a couple miles away from the city of Vale. This meant that it didn't get as much protection as some of the closer villages and therefore had less people, shops, and just about anything that required a sizeable population, namely in this case, a bank.

On the other hand it meant that rent was dirt cheap.

The village was pretty run down as it was, and though Saitama didn't care for it he lived in the part of the village that was closed off for a reason similar to Mountain Glenn; too many Grimm kept passing through despite the lack of general negativity, and if it wasn't Grimm then it was bandits who needed to recuperate, and if not that then it was Saitama himself going back home. Needless to say, he didn't have many neighbours.

The Grimm weren't actually that much trouble to Saitama, even if he sometimes wished they posed a small challenge. His dulled emotions could barely make the Grimm even slightly curious, and they never put up much of a fight. When he felt like killing one for the sake of it, they would turn tail (quite literally for the few that had tails) and run in the other direction. Some weird old dude with a walking stick told him he released a killing intent that could scare anything with a head on its shoulders.

The guy needed to get a life. That stuff only exists in dumb anime shows.

But anyway, it was as Saitama was walking home that a couple of thugs spotted him. They were dressed in black leather armour, with red shoulder, elbow and knee guards. Their torsos were also covered in the same blood red defence to protect them from knife wounds to the gut, in case any other members of the group tried to prove they were the strongest with a sneak attack.

One could never be too careful in a bandit tribe.

They also had weapons of varying kinds hanging from their belts. About three had decided to keep it simple, with an ordinary red sword with a sheath that could also fire. One had a mighty double edged war-axe that could fire shotgun pellets from the top of the shaft, using the recoil to swing faster. The rest simply used either guns or normal non-transforming melee weapons. Each had a Grimm mask of either a Beowolf or an Ursa (there was that _one_ guy who had a Boarbatusk mask) covering their facial and hair features (with the exception of one woman whose red hair spilled out on the sides), and upon seeing Saitama each gained a predatory smile.

"Well what do we have here?" called out one, as they stalked towards Saitama, quickly surrounding him. "Looks like someone wandered into the wrong neighbourhood." His head poking from the side of the huge pile of shopping, Saitama looked in confusion at the people around him. _"What are they talking about? This is... oh, right, because this place is supposed to be closed off."_ With this knowledge in hand, Saitama knew what he must do.

"Look, I know this place is supposed to be closed off, but I still live here and the Grimm don't bother me, so it's cool." Suddenly feeling a little concerned, Saitama's brow furrowed. "What are you guys doing here though? And what's up with all the padding? Is there a bike tour I don't about, or is this another one of those safety demonstrations? I swear, if it's another one of those..."

"What?!" shouted the head honcho of the group, his face scrunching up in anger and confusion. Who was this weirdo in the strange clothing, calling them a health and safety group? "We ain't no health and safety group!"

"So you're bikers? Be careful then, these streets are kind of dangerous. Wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you before the race started." Wouldn't want...? Oh, he was in for it now.

"Stop looking down on us! We are the Branwen bandit tribe, who value strength above everything else! Tear him to pieces!" Huh? Weird name for a cycling team. But then again, what did he know? If that was their hobby, kudos to them. He was going to keep walking when he felt a shadow fall on him from behind. _"What?"_ he thought. He turned his head only to see the same mighty war axe from earlier descending on him.

" _Oh crap!"_ he panicked. _"If he hits my food, there's no way it won't fall and get damaged! And the market place is guaranteed to have sold out by now, so I can't buy more!"_

The other goons were pretty confident in their victory. Felix Hunter was the strongest in the group by a significant margin, thanks to his strength boosting semblance, and they'd all seen what his war-axe, or Backbreaker as he called it, could do to enemy huntsman and Grimm. This civilian in the weird yellow, white and red clothing didn't stand a chance.

Only two of the goons were unsurprised from the outcome, and that was only because Felix smashed into one of the other punks in the group hard enough to knock them both out instantly, aura and all. It was only when they woke up the next day did the events of this fight come into their knowledge.

The others felt the jaws drop at the sight of the Felix-and-goon shaped hole a hundred metres away. Meanwhile, Saitama's leg slowly retracted from his balanced kicking position until he was standing back in his normally again. Miraculously, not a single item had fallen from any of his bags, a fact which Saitama didn't want to change. He did, however, sigh as the other goons regained their composure and glared angrily at him. _"I guess this does sorta give me a challenge... but if I drop anything, there'll be hell to pay."_ And with this thought in mind, he prepared himself as the group all charged at him at once.

* * *

In the street next to the ongoing fight

Raven studied the map as she planned her next attack. The numbers in her rank had swelled over recent times, which was hardly unsurprising. The attack on Vale and destruction of Beacon had led to many people moving to either other kingdoms (with the exception of Atlas, who had closed off their borders to all but the SDC) or to the nearby villages, where they hoped they would be safe from the White Fang. This meant that the villages had to be able to defend themselves, and therefore trained more, stronger guardians to protect them from the increased Grimm attacks.

All of this meant that when the Branwen tribe showed them how weak and useless they actually were... well there was a higher chance that some would accept the offer to become strong. And as long as they followed the rules of the tribe, then whatever petty reasons they fought for mattered little.

She had chosen city Z as her base of operations because of the lack of... well, anything that could hinder her. No one travelled through the closed off area, so there was no chance of them being discovered, and on the off chance someone did wander and discover them, their deaths and lack of a body would be put down to the Grimm. The Grimm themselves were more often than not weak, but they were frequent enough that they could train new recruits against them. This also reinforced a core idea for the tribe – if they failed, there would be no second chance.

She had just decided on attacking a port town to the far south of the land connecting Vale and Mistral, when one of her subordinates flew through the window and smashed her table to pieces. She did not recognise nor care for who the person was – they had proven themselves weak and would therefore perish – but who had they fought against? Studying the space that used to have been occupied by a wall, she could see several of her allies fighting one man in a ridiculous yellow outfit with a cape and... were those shopping bags?

"Why can't you crazy bikers leave me alone? I don't have a problem with your Bandwagon vibe or whatever it was!" What was the fool talking about?

As she saw multiple of her high ranking comrades knocked out on the floor, Raven growled. It seemed she would have to deal with this herself.

* * *

If the Line break doesn't work, then this'll do

* * *

Saitama was growing increasingly worried he'd have to spend another hour stacking shopping bags on each other, or worse, have to leave some bags here and make multiple journeys, and there was no way he was leaving his food to chance. But the crazy cyclists just kept on coming! Left, right, above, behind, even below sometimes, everywhere he looked another was coming! And some had weird weapons like machine-gun lances, or flamethrowers, and it was becoming _extremely_ difficult to move fast enough to get out the way but not drop his shopping, or kick the people who got to close or even see everyone when his sight was blocked, and he REFUSED to drop his food, because a hero, even one for a hobby, can never fold in the face of overwhelming odds.

"Enough!" shouted a female voice. Instantly all of the bikers stopped what they were doing and retreated to a safe ( _"yeah, like there is one" thought Saitama_ ) distance, sneering at Saitama with newfound confidence. A couple of the unconscious thugs were pulled away as well, but most were simply left where they were.

" _What kind of club cares that little about its members? I'm going to have to talk to whoever owns it. Then there's why they were all attacking me..."_ All of this Saitama pondered as he failed to notice the woman on the building in front of him. To be fair, it was quite a tall building, and he still had a huge pile of shopping blocking his view.

"Okay, I'm not sure what this was all about, but I've gotta go, so good luck in your-"

"Silence!" It was only now that Saitama knew where she – and he was certain it was a she by her voice – was, but he couldn't look at her because the sun was behind her and he couldn't block it because his hands were full.

" _Stupid dramatic poses. It's not like announcing your presence to the enemy is ever helpful."_ Thankfully she jumped, landing in _another_ dramatic pose (think Iron man) before slowly pulling herself up, her hand on the hilt of a sword with an abnormally large sheath. Like the others, she too wore bike protection pads, the signature uniform colours and a Grimm mask ( _kids need to take that stuff seriously_ ) covering her face, but hers seemed more aggressive, with the Grimm mask being more detailed and the elbow guard extended down to just above her wrist to give the maximum protection while still keeping the same amount of movement. She even wore a dress, further highlighting the difference between her and the others.

"I have raised these people to be strong. That is the philosophy of my tribe. The strong live. The weak die. That is the rule of the world, without prejudice to gender, colour, religion or species. That is how I know that they are some of the strongest in the land. Yet you, a simple civilian defeated them without a single injury. Tell me, what is your semblance? It must be strong, if it can single-handedly take out my more than capable subordinates. I can assure you, with one as powerful as yours if you join you shall be able to attain a high ranking position with ease, and we won't hold this encounter against you. You can rest assured; those who started this incident shall be punished accordingly."

Everyone stared at Saitama as they saw his face covered by the shadow of the shopping, a serious look being seen for the first time thus far. Everyone, even Raven to a lesser extent, held their breath in anticipation of what his reaction would be. He had managed to beat so many of the tribe with kicks alone, but they only had rumours to go on for Raven's strength. What would he choose?

They stayed in this state for a full minute. Saitama's face never changed, maintaining the same focus throughout. Slowly it started to lower, until it was in an almost subdued position. He was going to join?

"No, you can't take my house; I'll pay the rent I swear!" Everyone jerked back in shock as Saitama shouted out in surprise, his eyes blinking rapidly as he took in the sunlight again. "Oh, did you finish? I'm sorry I fell asleep, it's just that I've had a long day and it's getting late and you wouldn't get to the point, talking about how cyclists need to be strong to catch your vibe, so I'll just be on my way if you don't mind."

Everyone stared at him in shocked silence as he started to slowly meander along the street, keeping his tower of food supplies aloft. Raven's expression was unsurprisingly unreadable, given the mask covering her face, but if anyone could see it they would run for the hills, catch a bus, go to the airport, catch a plane, go to NASA (which unfortunately for the people of RWBY, doesn't exist), hop on a rocket, blast to Mars and promptly blow it up.

Needless to say, there's a good reason team STRQ didn't stay together.

Faster than anyone could see, Raven summoned a crimson portal behind Saitama and dived out, her sword sweeping out in a horizontal arc to separate his head from his shoulders. He thought he could simply run away after looking down on her?! Did he take her for a fool?! She was Raven Branwen of the Branwen tribe, who had taken down some of the strongest villages single-handedly, and whose people defeated the Grimm on a daily basis because they were strong enough to take on anything. And this one idiot, who probably never worked hard a day in his life, just waltzed in here, beat them up and thought he could get away with it? Raven growled as she willed her sword to swing faster. She would make him pay!

Saitama took an extra fast step forward, and her sword cut through the air in such a way that no one cared enough to notice the special way it cut through the air, only that it swung back again in an upward motion with just as much speed. _"There's no way he can dodge that,"_ thought Raven, smiling a maniacal grin.

He took another fast step forward, turning his head with some difficulty to regard Raven with an annoyed glare.

"Would you cut that out? I would have been home ages ago if your cycling clique hadn't bothered me, and there isn't enough time left in the day for me to cook what I wanted."

For a moment Raven's movements faltered from her rage and confusion, but she regained her composure quickly. He must have been trying to fool her with his words. So she would ignore them. Her sword rested by her side as she pulled out her sheath, removing the safety and immediately opening fire on the bald idiot. At point-blank range there was no chance of him dodging, and he would not be able to block in time while carrying the huge amount of baggage in his hands.

He rapidly moved to the side, struggling to balance his shopping by leaning against the tower, but as Raven continued to fire he had no choice but to block it with his body. He could only hope that his food would make it out unharmed as he speed-walked away, covering as much of his bags as he could. Unfortunately, he made a vital mistake – when the bullets ricochet, where did the go?

The answer was into his shopping. A bullet tore through the bottom of one of the bags, dropping the milk inside, which could no longer hold up the bags above, so they fell and pulled in the bags next to them, and then the whole mountain of shopping fell at once, leaving the edible rubble strewn across the floor.

The tension in the air increased to astronomical levels until it was so thick you could cut through it with an ice cream scoop. Everyone, even Raven, took a step back as they felt pure death seem to radiate off of Saitama, and all those present (with the exception of Raven) were glad that it wasn't focused on them.

Saitama glared back at Raven from the corner of his eye. Gone was the slouched position, the unsure footing, the sense of boredom. In its place was doom. "When I find this group online... I WILL make you pay for the food you just wasted." What?

Raven was still shocked from the killing intent, but if she wasn't she would have been extremely confused. He cared that much about his shopping? Either way, it wouldn't have changed the outcome. When she woke it was to find her mask in pieces (some of which had to be removed from her face), her clothes in tatters, her sword and sheath broken, and a frontline seat to two Raven sized holes in a row stretching across two streets. Lengthways.

"How... how did... but that's... no. I... I must become stronger... strong enough to defeat him... then I can lead my tribe again." Groaning in pain, she heaved herself up and, with some difficulty, stood on her own two feet. Summoning a shaky, flickering portal in front of her, Raven stumbled through.

"I have... to train... till I am strong!"

 **And that is it! A pretty long one shot as far as one shots go, but I guess that's just the way it is. It was an idea I had for a while, mainly because it occurred to me how Raven and Sonic are sort of similar – they think they are the strongest, and while I have to guess with Raven, I think that if someone proved to her that they were stronger than her she would try to become stronger herself. Honestly, at that point the difference between them may as well not exist. Anyway, hope it was worth your time. If you want, I guess I could continue it, but that seems an unlikely outcome.**


	2. Velvet: Strong Coffee

**So I have decided to continue this due to the popular demand of five people, but not in the way you probably thought. I decided to make this a series of one-shots involving the various characters of RWBY and various kinds of shopping, none of which are necessarily related. That means that if I make any contradictions of earlier chapters it is because neither existed in the same universe. If I reference something from a previous chapter it is because they did both happen in the same universe. If popular demand greater than twenty people demand it then I will make a story from the Raven one-shot, but for now the most it will get is a sequel one-shot if I feel like it.**

At this moment, Velvet wished more than anything that she was braver.

She was currently surrounded by the members of team CRDL outside a cafe door that was currently locked. She had wanted to simply relax in Vale for a little during the weekend and had specifically asked the rest of team CFVY not to come with as she was hoping to let her hair down and simply be herself, without having to deal with their antics. She had thought they might feel hurt because she had immediately recognised how much better she could have worded it, but thankfully they understood and agreed. And for that, she loved them. Sometimes she wondered what she did to deserve such a great team. No... such a great family.

She was now regretting that decision though. She'd been having a good time, visiting some of the quieter parts of Vale, grabbing some books from the library and was going to get some coffee (she didn't need Coco to get the pun, nor did she need her team leader) from a nearby cafe when they spotted her.

Even though she tried not to draw attention, tried to leave, tried to _run_ , they cornered her. They trapped her tantalisingly close to escape, her back against the cafe she had tried to enter in the first place. The door was locked, not because the cafe was closed but because the owner and the people inside were afraid. They were civilians after all. Not only were they not strong enough to help, none of them were brave enough to stand up for the stranger they barely even knew in the face of four huntsmen-in-training, who had weapons on their person and violence in their minds. They simply couldn't handle this threat.

" _But I should be able to!"_ thought Velvet. _"I'm a second year student at Beacon, I'm stronger than them! My weapon could destroy them all in seconds, especially with my semblance! I've trained to fight the monsters of the night! I shouldn't have to take this!"_ But whether it was due to her kind nature, her own timidness or fear of a potential 1-vs-4 fight, she did not do anything. She simply sat down and cried as they mocked and jeered at her, calling her a freak of nature and telling her to go back to her island. She felt tempted to give up.

If she couldn't handle her own problems, how could she hope to solve the problem facing the world?

"Excuse me? Can you guys move; you're blocking the door." Huh?

She looked up to see team CRDL staring at a bald-headed man wearing green trainers, blue skinny jeans and a red and white jumper with- were those really?-Velvet couldn't bring herself to care. He sported a bland, bored expression on his face and held a small shopping bag in one hand, with some manga or comic poking from the top.

Did he not realise the danger of what he was doing? He wasn't a hunter, he couldn't survive a confrontation with these guys, and she wasn't worth it! She tried to shout out a warning but Cardin, the mace-wielding bully, beat her to it.

"What are you, some kinda Faunus sympathiser? Get lost, baldy." Thank goodness, he had a chance to leave. If he was smart he wou-

"What are you talking about? I need to get into the cafe and you guys are blocking the door. Just move out of the way so I can get what I want." Velvet stared at him. Was he seriously standing up for her? Tears came to her eyes with renewed vigour. A civilian could stand up to these bullies but she couldn't. What kind of coward was she?

"This is your last chance baldy," warned Cardin, pulling his mace from its holder and brandishing it in a threatening manner. The others pulled out their weapons too, more than ready to use them against an innocent bystander. "Leave while that dome of yours is still shiny and white instead of dented and red." The man's eye twitched. _"He must be terrified,"_ Velvet thought. _"To do all this for someone he doesn't even know? He truly is a hero. Unlike me..."_

"I don't see what the problem is. Just let me go inside already! Did you damage something? Is that why you won't let me through? You know keeping me out won't solve that problem, someone will see the damage eventually and you guys will be in even more trouble." Velvet was confused. What was he talking about?

Unfortunately for him, the gang of bullies didn't care for they quickly surrounded him, sinister grins on their faces. Cardin's armour clinked as he slowly strutted up to the bald man, his family crest reflected of the bald man's head.

"You're gonna regret standing up to me, Cardin Winchester, leader of team CRDL and soon-to-be greatest hunter of all time. Prepare for a beating egg-head!" He raised up his mace to smash it down on the man's head. Sure, he wouldn't be using his full strength – he wanted to beat the guy, not get arrested for murder – but the baldy wouldn't know that, would he?

Almost too quick for the eye to see, Cardin smashed his weapon onto the pavement that the man used to occupy. He almost fell, as he had deliberately over-extended to avoid the sharp edges of his weapon making contact with the chrome-dome. He shouldn't have worried, as standing to his side was the same man he had intended to attack.

"What is this? Are you guys trying to mug me? No way that's gonna happen." Before Cardin could pull himself up to meet the challenge of a fight, he became a seven inch deep indent in the pavement. The others stared at him in pure shock, their jaws hanging from a thread. Velvet's joined them on the floor. Just... what?

"The rest of you guy's better beat it. You've wasted enough of my time as it is." They didn't move. One of them dropped their sword. Another had a dangerously loose grip on his daggers above his aura-less leader's head. "I said, BEAT IT!" They all snapped out of their daze, holstering their weapons before they grabbed their leader and ran as fast as they could while carrying him between them. Soon enough they turned the corner, and once again the man was facing Velvet. The Faunus in question continued to stare at him in shock, awe and fear. Who was this man? Just how strong was he?

"Look, I don't want to go through that whole process again. Can you move from the door?" Velvet hastily stood up, gathering her stuff as she did so and blabbering apologies and thanks.

"Thank you so much, I don't know what would have happened if you didn't arrive, I'm so sorry for getting in your way, please forgive me, I'msohappyyouhelpedmeohmygodI'mbabblingI'msosorry-"

"Shut up already. Jeez, I just want some soda." Completely ignoring her as she picked up her books, the man pulled on the door only for it to remain shut. Taking a deep breath, he held in his annoyance as the owner of the cafe quickly rushed over to unlock the door and let him in. Muttering a quick thanks, he bought a soda from the desk and stepped outside again.

However before he could truly leave Velvet, now with her books piled together, reached out to stop him.

"Listen," began Velvet. "I just wanted to say thanks. For standing up for me when I was down. There aren't many people that would, given the recent White Fang activities at Faunus peace rallies, and those guys were huntsmen-in-training, which would put most people off of doing the right thing-"

"Will you get to the point already?!" shouted the man. "I only came here to get some soda and I've got places to be. _(It's like no one can get to the point.)_ " Straightening up and blushing slightly from her mistake, Velvet looked straight into her saviours eyes.

"What is your name?" The man's facial features once again gained a calm look.

"It's Saitama." Velvet bowed her head in respect.

"Thank you Saitama." Nodding, the newly named Saitama turned around to walk away. Unfortunately for him, Velvet still had something to get off her chest.

"Wait!" Sighing, Saitama turned around, feeling annoyed. Velvet gulped in fear of gaining his ire, before remembering why she was doing this and doubling her resolve. "I would like to ask you something." Saitama hoped it wasn't about his strength. He was getting annoyed about people's reactions to it, and he had no intention of repeating the process.

"Do you think I'm strong?" Well that was new. "I know that you haven't seen me fight, but I know I could have taken them. My weapon can copy any weapon I have ever taken a picture of, and my semblance can copy the fighting style of anyone I've ever seen fight. I've seen people who could beat those guys in their sleep, so I know I could do it too but I... I was too afraid. I wasn't brave enough to defend myself even though I should and could have."

Velvet hadn't opened up about this to anyone before. Not even her team was aware of this particular struggle. They knew, of course, about her struggles between team CRDL and her general problems being a Faunus but this? They didn't know.

" _Not through any fault of theirs,"_ Velvet hastened to add. _"It's just, they hadn't noticed and I never tried to tell them, and well it didn't get better."_ She had been having this problem ever since Coco had suggested building her a new weapon, one that fully utilised her semblance. She could copy the combat abilities of others. So how could she honestly say that it was she who was strong, instead of whoever she chose to copy? By lengthening how long she could copy others?

"I mean, in two years I'm going to be graduating from Beacon, one of the best huntsmen academies there is*. How can I hope to be strong enough to protect the world if I'm not strong enough to protect myself? To protect my team? The Grimm won't give me a second chance if I fail and I... I don't want to fail." Velvet looked up to see Saitama's reaction. He was deep in thought, his brows creased as he pondered what to say to the question Velvet so needed answered. Would he be able to help? Could anyone help? She was almost afraid of the answer.

"So what you're really asking me is... do I think you should follow your dream?" Surprised by not only his perceptiveness but also the fact he was right, Velvet nodded her head. "Sure, why not. I mean who am I to decide? I don't even know your name. If you want to do it, make sure you can. Anyway, I've got to go. See you bunny girl." And with that, Saitama turned around and finally walked away without interruption, drinking from his soda as he went.

On the other hand, Velvet's mind was racing. If she wanted to do it, make sure she could? She wanted to become a huntress, one who didn't have to rely on the abilities of others to be successful herself. So in order to do that... she had to improve her own abilities. Her own strengths. Her own weaknesses. She had to address every part of how she handled things, then work to handle those things better in pursuit of her dream. She had to make sure that she could do the things she wanted to do if she truly wanted to do them. Otherwise, how could she hope to succeed?

She stared in wonder at Saitama's retreating figure. His wisdom truly was spectacular. She could only imagine the depth of the conversations he would have with Yatsuhashi. Truly she was lucky to have met him.

 ***It's definitely in the top five anyway.**

 **So, that was chapter two. If anyone has any suggestions for future chapters, don't hesitate to tell me. If you do it would be pointless, due to the fact I will never notice your hesitation.**

 **Fun fact: on the 16** **th** **of May, 2010, the Moon, Venus and Jupiter made a smiley face in the night sky. I nicknamed it the cosmic joke.**


	3. CinderPyrrha: Cue epic final battle

**Man, people really like that Raven one-shot didn't they? I'm gonna guess it was either because of the humour (on which I really outdid myself) or how much alike Raven and Sonic are. Either way, this is probably the last chapter I make for this story before I get back to my main one. I've left it alone for a while, and I have some ideas for where that story should go, which is actually a first for me. Anyway, here you go. A new chapter for all those who may or may not have wanted one.**

Victory was at hand for Cinder, and if it wasn't for the fight (if one could even call it that) she was having right now, she would have laughed out loud. As it was, she found it impossible to remove the smile from her features, despite the blade she was keeping at bay from her neck.

She had won. Months of planning, infiltration, making connections, changing her plans to adjust to the failures of her subordinates, incorporating new advantages given by her advisories, it had all paid off.

She still couldn't believe the foolishness demonstrated by her nemesis. To hide such a powerful weapon underneath the school? It was a mystery how he had resisted the might of Salem for so long. His predecessor was no doubt responsible for that, whispering in his ear what to do the whole time. But that time had passed. Now the fool would have to scare another innocent into a fight they would surely lose, giving Salem's plans plenty of time to succeed.

After all, who could possibly replace Ozpin? Glynda would have to adjust to the role of headmistress, fully in charge of the remainder of Beacon's students – provided Cinder left any when she was done. Ironwood thought he could keep his people safe, but in reality he was so predictable it was child's play to make the monkey dance however she wanted. And Qrow? Ha! A teacher he may be, but a leader he was not.

And so it was that while preventing Pyrrha's blade from embracing her throat she smirked as she saw the mighty Grimm dragon fly towards her, obeying her command as all things should. This child thought she could stand against her when she had the power of a goddess and control over the most feared army of the land?

Cinder almost felt sorry for the little girl. Almost.

Heating the inside of her hands till they were hot enough to melt through steel, Cinder shattered the Invincible Girl's sword before elbowing her in the stomach as hard as she could, sending her flying away to the other side of the room while the nightmarish dragon destroyed the clock tower, forever silencing the CCT and Vale's Beacon of hope.

She grinned. The Grimm would run rampant tonight.

Except something was wrong. The force that destroyed the tower did not come from the right direction. If the dragon had been in front of her then the rest of the rubble should have been thrown in the same direction as Pyrrha, who currently lay battered against the remnant of the wall of the office.

So why were some pieces still falling from the sky?

 **5 minutes earlier**

Obliterating the Griffon with barely a passing glance, Saitama grew increasingly frantic. He knew he left it around here somewhere, but where? Ugh, if only all these Grimm would get out of the way, finding that shopping bag he dropped off would be so much easier. It had the time and location for a huge sale in it, and there was no way he was passing up on that. Slapping the baby Nevermore into the stratosphere (Did Nevermore's have kids?), he grew concerned. Why were there so many Grimm anyway? Village Z had been pretty quiet recently, what with that tournament happening over in Vale. Apparently it was vital for something, though he couldn't say he knew what.

Either way, there wasn't any reason for the Grimm to be attacking the place when all that was left was him and a couple of people in the bunker on the opposite side of town. Heck, they usually ran away the moment he felt like fighting them, so for these low-level Grimm to be coming after him was a mystery in itself. Were they low level? That elephant was pretty big, but he couldn't compare its strength to anything.

Wait... if more Grimm like those elephants came, they might trample on his shopping! And everyone knows a hero must be always be willing and able to protect what was important to him. Without a moment's hesitation, Saitama ran at speeds the eye couldn't follow, moving throughout the town and swiftly dispatching of any and all Grimm in sight. He even jumped up to knock away some of the flying types, using his "Serious Series: Serious Pinball" move to bounce between them and get back down to the ground quickly (sure, he could have just used the shockwave from a punch, but the destruction of the town would be guaranteed. Oblivious he may be, but stupid and impulsive he was not).

It was as he was falling that Saitama heard the ear-splitting shriek. Turning towards mountain Glenn (see? Not stupid) he could make out what seemed to be an explosion of rock before... was that a dragon?

Saitama practically vibrated in excitement. Those were always super strong in the stories right? Well, maybe this one could stand up to him? It was heading towards Vale, but distance was hardly a problem. Besides, as a hero, it was his responsibility to check up on the place now that his own village was Grimm-free. Picking up a brick and cleaving a Creeper in two from a couple hundred metres away with it (Village Z would REMAIN Grimm-free), he jumped at a speed far above terminal velocity, using a method he had perfected after countless times of accidently destroying random streets.

The method in question being landing at Beacon (it took him quite a few tries to get the distance right, but the old man with the cane had been rather forgiving), rolling a couple times to lose momentum, then getting into a standing position to truly lower his speed. It was pretty effective as far as landing strategies went.

So he was rather disappointed in himself when he heard and felt the tearing of metal around him. When he stood up he saw that he had ploughed through these two robots, but hey, they could be repaired right? Nevertheless, he saw he was directly underneath the Grimm dragon. Bending his knees to prepare for the jump, Saitama allowed himself to build up hope. Maybe this would be different?

 **Present time**

"Are you two okay? I didn't hold back as much as I probably should have. I didn't hurt you did I?"

Immediately Cinder turned to face her new opponent. Wearing an obnoxious yellow one-piece costume with a shiny gold buckle, a flowing white cape and a pair of blood red boots and gloves, the man had the striking image of a lazily drawn super hero, even down to his perfectly bald head. Cinder narrowed her eyes. Just how had he gotten up there so quickly, and more importantly, where was the Grimm dragon?

At least one of her questions was answered by a humongous tooth slamming down beside her, missing her by scant inches as it continued to dissolve. Cursing herself for letting down her guard Cinder got into a fighting stance, using her newfound power to hover just above the ground and summon a flame into her hand.

She was promptly knocked to the side by what used to have been a support beam, courtesy of the semblance belonging to a recovered Pyrrha Nikos.

Diving to retrieve her shield, Pyrrha held it in front of her as protection while Cinder blew the remains of the clockwork off of her and flew into the air, blasting three streams of fire towards her. Pyrrha was able to leap out of the way of two of them but was forced to block the third. The force of it threw her backwards and set up a wall of fire between them, blocking both girls' view of the other.

"What the heck is going on here? Why are you two fighting, and what is up with the Grimm attacks?"

Turning to the baldy in a blazing fury, Cinder did not even try to keep her burning hatred hidden. "Be quiet! Wait for your turn to die. I have some questions I would prefer answered." Unfortunately for Cinder, this wasn't some dumb anime world in which when people are fighting and someone talks to someone else the fight magically stops.

No, this was a world where people didn't kill others despite saying they wanted to ***** , where people let their enemies walk past them if it meant they only fought one of them despite them being able to take on more ***** , where mistakes and problems get picked up on by You Tubers who make shows like "An honest look at RWBY ***** ," in which fairy tales came to life in the form of monsters, heroes, dragons and knights.

In conclusion, Pyrrha's shield hit Cinder's unprotected and distracted in the back.

Once more Cinder cursed herself at her lack of attention before gasping in shock at the number of metal items floating around her. With her concentration fixed above her, she didn't notice Pyrrha's shield until it slammed into her legs, flipping her so that a clockwork cog could slam into her midriff and pin her to the ground. Summoning her shield back to her, Pyrrha strained at the effort required to hold so many heavy objects in the air at once before slamming them as hard as they could on the one responsible for the monstrosity occurring throughout the city.

In this brief moment of respite she saw the newcomer. His tacky uniform aside, the man was an opportunity that Pyrrha needed to use. But not one that could save her...

"Please," she begged him, her eyes pleading, "You have to run. I won't be able to hold her off much longer, so I need you to get help. Glynda, Ironwood, Port, anyone you can find, tell them the attacker is on the tower! Quickly, whi-" but it was too late. Cinder burst free of her metal cage in a shower of molten metal, blasting one of the cogs that trapped her straight towards Pyrrha. Unable to dodge or manipulate the metal in time, Pyrrha instead braced herself and held her shield before her as it slammed with the force of a truck, throwing her back from the strength of its flight and sending her into the remains of Ozpin's office walls.

Pyrrha felt the difference instantly. She was out of aura. Nevertheless, Pyrrha had to fight. For her friends – no, they were worth far more to her than that. Especially him. How she wished they could have had one last moment together...

As Cinder materialised and drew her bow, Pyrrha picked herself up, spinning quickly to gain momentum then throwing her shield with all her might at her adversary. Her aim struck true, shattering the arrow that would surely have deeply wounded her. Yet... it reformed? Pyrrha could do nothing as it flew towards her ankle except brace for the pain.

A pain that she never felt.

For instead the man stood before her, holding not only the arrow that had been fated to hit her, but also the shield she threw away. While Pyrrha couldn't see his face, she could feel the annoyance radiating off of him, from the way he held himself to the unseen force pulsating off of him. If only it wasn't aimed at her.

"Will you two stop fighting already? Someone could get seriously hurt!" Shocked silence ensued. What on Remnant was he talking about? And how did he get there so fast? Not noticing or not caring, he continued to talk. "I mean, there look to be a lot of Grimm out there and you haven't told me why, and you guys pick now of all times to have a training battle, without any instructors to stop you from going too far? What is wrong with your sense of timing?! Something serious is going on out there! What kind of trainee heroes are you?" Shaking his head in disappointment, he handed Pyrrha back her shield, which she automatically took despite her mind having shut down. What was with this man?

What did shake her from her stupor was yet another new face leaping onto the roof. The sight of her semblance and cloak meant Pyrrha knew who it was even before Ruby lifted her head and spotted her. "Pyrrha!" she cried, zipping over to her in a flurry of rose-petals and hugging her so hard that Pyrrha couldn't breathe. "I was so worried! Jaune said you were fighting someone on the tower and-"

Ruby's words seemed to catch up with her as she unfurled Crescent Rose and spun around, her battle stance shifting as she accommodated for the two potential enemies in front of her. Her eyes were narrowed in anticipation for the fight that she knew was going to ensue. "Who are you two? And why did you attack Pyrrha?!"

The bald man in the yellow costume was the first to speak, not even a hint of worry, anger, or any emotion at all in his voice other than boredom. "My name's Saitama. I'm a hero for fun, and to be honest I still don't know why the Grimm are here. Does anyone feel like telling me, or-?"

"I brought the Grimm," declared the older woman, forming two short swords from seemingly nowhere. "I first brought them in the breach, and then ordered my associate to trick the invincible girl into killing her opponent. For you see- ack!" Cinder collapsed as the bald guy slapped her on the check, and the hit would have sent her flying off of the tower if the same man hadn't then caught her. Turning to the two slack-jawed children, he raised his eye-brow in confusion.

"What?" he asked, not really understanding why they seemed so shocked. "We all heard her admit to murder and for releasing the Grimm. So let's hand her over to the authorities. Come on, before we catch a cold from the breeze up here. It's cold when you're this high up!" And with that, he nonchalantly jumped off of the tower.

 **What's this? Two story chapters in one day? I must be sick!**

 **Nah, it's nothing like that. For just about every single story I have going for me now, I also have a partially written chapter. I just haven't had the time to finish them all. Anyway, you can probably expect to see the next chapter for any of my stories (probably a Huntsman's end) next week, because of school and all that. See you around!**


	4. Ruby: A true hero

**Hello there dear readers, and thanks for all for the reviews! It's nice to see people appreciate my stories, so that's always nice. I'll reply to the reviews at the end, but for now enjoy the first chapter that's actually related to another chapter! Unless they're all related. It occurred to me that so far, they could all have actually happened in the same universe; even if Cinder was caught, the people would still have to live knowing that their kingdom, the only place they knew as being 100% safe from Grimm was now only 67% safe (I mean, a lot of Grimm would have been killed – the chances of those numbers reappearing any time soon is pretty small). This would mean that Raven's chapter would still work, and to be honest Velvet's wouldn't have changed anything.**

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Ruby was one of the many who watched Cinder's trial on TV.

Ruby was one of the many who were personally standing by to make sure Cinder didn't escape from her escorts on her way to prison, despite the fact that officially only full trained Hunters and Huntresses were allowed to be there. That didn't stop her, or the hundreds of Huntsmen, Huntsmen-in-training and police members who crowded every sidewalk on every street on every road that Cinder could possibly escape along.

Ruby was there to watch as the less guarded convoys containing Emerald and Mercury drove behind. But there was one event more important than all of these combined.

Ruby was there for the funerals.

Ruby was there when mothers and fathers broke down crying in front of hundreds of fellow families, each grieving for their losses.

Ruby was there to stop anyone who dared to blame the Faunus who attended for the event, all of whom were quick to state who they lost and then to distance themselves as far from the White Fang as possible.

Ruby was there when the citizens of Vale screamed and hollered and even physically attacked the Atlas soldiers stationed around the event, blaming their machinery for the tragedies.

Ruby saw all of this. But what she didn't see was the man who single-handedly brought an end to the greatest crisis the kingdom of Vale had ever experienced since the Great War.

So when she saw him a few days later, nonchalantly whistling a tasteless tune as he walked down the street, two huge clusters of shopping in each hand, she knew she had to find out why.

"Where were you?"

Saitama glanced around in confusion, looking for the location of the voice before zeroing in on the young girl behind him.

"Do I... know you?"

Ruby would usually have protested about that sort of treatment. She was right next to him when he captured the most dangerous woman alive! But right now, she was angry. Furious, even.

"I didn't see you at the funeral. Why is that?"

"There was a funeral?" he said, shocked, "damn it, I should have been there! Man, does that suck. Nothing I can do about it now though." And, albeit with slightly less energy than before, Saitama continued on his way. Ruby did not.

"Do you not care? I mean, I know you're strong, but you're still one of us." Ruby's voice was more heated now.

Saitama stopped once more and, figuring that he couldn't just walk away from this conversation, turned around, giving Ruby his full attention.

"Care about what? And one of who?"

"Us. The people you protect. The people you are a part of. Do you just not care about anyone else? Is that why you didn't come to the funeral?" That was pretty rude of her. What had he done to deserve that?

"Listen kid. I didn't come to the funeral because I didn't know about it, but-"

"Why didn't you know about it?" interrupted Ruby. "It was on every channel. Every newspaper, every website and every shop window you care to look at! It's _still_ on every shop window you care to look at!"

True to her word, the title, date and location of the funeral was still on the windows of most of the shops in the vicinity, with the only exceptions being the ones that had chosen to take theirs down early.

"I don't know! I'm from a village pretty far from here; my TV doesn't have much coverage-"

"So when you get to Vale, you just stay in your own little world, not caring about the people around you? What kind of hero are you if you don't even know anything about the people you should be trying to protect?!"

"Look, I don't do what I do for the people, okay? I do what I do for me, because I like it! Now can you just go away? I have to get home before my food goes bad-"

"What kind of hero only helps people because it's fun? Don't answer that," she glared at Saitama as he made to intervene, "because I know the answer. A bad hero. Only a bad hero cuts corners when protecting the innocent. Only a bad hero doesn't care how the people he is supposed to protect feel."

Saitama made to interrupt, but Ruby was on a roll.

"Only a bad hero fails to protect the people they care about. Only a bad hero isn't there when they are needed. Only-" Ruby choked back a sob, as her angry facade cracked in two, "only a bad hero loses the people they love..."

In a rare moment of intelligence, Saitama finally understood. "This isn't about me, is it?" And Ruby broke down crying.

"I... I couldn't save them! I wasn't there to save Penny, I wasn't there to help Yang, I wasn't strong enough to beat Roman and if you weren't there then Pyrrha would have died and Weiss and Blake are gone all because I wasn't strong or fast enough andIjustwanttodomymumproudbutIcan'tdoanythingrightand-"

Saitama wrapped his arms around Ruby as she cried into his chest. "It's okay... just let it all go... don't worry about it."

Even if he was getting a little annoyed by all the stares he was receiving. Maybe he could take them somewhere more private? But it didn't seem like Ruby wanted to really go anywhere, if how hard she grabbed his chest was any indication. Would she notice if he jumped? Probably, yeah; superhero jumps weren't fun if you were the one being dragged at superhuman speeds. He learnt that after... Jones? Yeah, Jones threw up on him.

It was even worse because he was behind on the electrical bill, so his washing machine wasn't working at the time. He had to live with that smell for _a week._ Maybe he could-

"I'm sorry..." mumbled Ruby, wiping her tears on his suit. It had a huge wet patch on it now – and wasn't that going to look weird after this – but he could manage. "I didn't mean to lash out at you... I just – I just needed an outlet. For everything. I'm sorry I took it out on you. I'd... I'd better go." And with that, Ruby began to sulk off, wiping her eyes furiously. Saitama stared at her as she left, before looking down at his discarded shopping bags on the floor.

He'd dropped them so fast that he was certain something had cracked. Although, if he couldn't see anything leaking, maybe it was fine? He sure hoped so. As he was about to pick everything back up, he thought back on what Ruby had said as she broke down and messed up his suit.

Was he a bad hero?

In all of the comics and mangas he read, the hero was always able to take down the bad guy. The best heroes could always win the fight really quickly. In that regard, Saitama knew he was truly unparalleled; he could beat any and all opponents in one punch, and he was getting better at reducing the collateral damage (you would not believe the number of towns Saitama accidentally destroyed in his first 4 weeks of hero work).

He had succeeded in protecting everything he loved; his home was fine, and his parents were comfortable in their lifestyle.

But he still felt Ruby was right. Ever since he completed his training, his emotions were dulled. He could not relate to people who had lost everything, because he barely had anything in the first place. He had no empathy towards people placed in mortal danger because it had been _so long_ since his life was at risk. He had no feelings about the people who died in the Grimm attack because... well. Not even a dragon could survive his strength.

Could he change that? Saitama had not received a difficult task worth stressing over ever since he gained his unimaginable power (at least, a task for his hobby), and the boredom that came from achieving his dream was hardly motivating. He had tried to raise higher in the business world his whole life, but all his efforts were for naught. Maybe he could try those mine jobs people were talking about? Apparently there was some sort of animal problem, but he didn't have any allergies so he figured he would be fine.

But weren't they super far away or something? It would be a hassle to travel such great distances every single day, so that was probably a losing endeavour.

So what about being one of the people? He could try to give that a shot. Being an outcast for his whole life didn't really do wonders for his social status, but he could maybe try to change that. Besides, if he was a better people person, maybe more people would be willing to give him the money he desperately needed to stay afloat.

And the best way to start...

Was to help the teenager who got in way over her head.

"Judy, wait up!" Saitama grumbled to himself, as he picked up his shopping and tried to find out where Ruby went. A quick hop onto the closest roof helped him spot her signature red cloak, currently pulled tightly over her face, and in a couple of seconds (after _carefully_ placing his shopping bags) he was right behind her.

"Judy, stop."

Ruby flinched and hunched her shoulders. "My name's Ruby."

"Right, Ruby..." continued Saitama.

" _Shit, I didn't think this through. What the hell am I supposed to say?"_

"So about what you said earlier... I mean, the bad guys were beaten, right? I mean, it's not like all of that stuff is going to happen again anytime soon."

"That's not the point."

"It isn't?" Well then what was? Damn it, why couldn't this be easy? If this wasn't over soon, his groceries were going to rot for CERTAIN.

"...What do you mean?"

Good! She mistook his honest confusion. Think, what to say, what to say?

"Well, I mean, with all of the bad stuff that just happened, that's got to be all of the worst stuff out of the way, right? So..."

" _Where is he going with this?"_ thought Ruby.

" _Where the hell am I going with this?"_ Saitama internally raged. _"There's got to be some inspiration, I've just got to..."_ Saitama's mind trailed off as he saw a woman walk past, glancing at her watch before continuing her day. _"That's it!"_

"So you have plenty of time!"

Silence reigned. Ruby turned her head to peer at her current source of advice. "What?"

"Time which you can use to prepare for whatever bad stuff comes next! And because of all the bad stuff that happened so recently there probably isn't much chance of the next thing being so bad, right?"

Sweat formed on Saitama's brow. _"Please let that work, please let that work, please let that work."_

Meanwhile, in Ruby's mind, she was having an altogether different line of thought. _"Is he saying that the worst has passed? They always do have the hero overcome a difficult challenge... is this mine?"_

Neither of them moved as Ruby ruminated (ha, alliteration counts as an authorial technique!) over her answer. Saitama held his breath, as Ruby spoke once more.

"I think... I think I get what you're saying," whispered Ruby.

" _Oh thank God!"_

"I should focus on the time I still have. Yang's going to recover soon, so I have to be there for her, and in the meantime I can train to protect my friends in the future. And Weiss..."

Ruby broke off as tears threatened to spill, but she shook them away and looked at Saitama with a bright (but water-clogged) smile. "I don't know how I'm going to get her and Blake back, but I've got time to make a plan."

As she spoke, Ruby began to look more and more sure of herself, while Saitama struggled to hide his confusion. _"That isn't what I meant at all!"_

"The one thing I don't have time for however, is to stand around moping," at which point Ruby ran up to Saitama and buried herself in his chest, "so thank you for helping me."

Saitama awkwardly placed his hand on her head. "You're welcome, I guess?" _"Honestly, she made most of that up herself. Works for me though."_

"I'd better get going," said Ruby, stepping back with a massive grin on her face, "because I've got a lot of work to be doing." For just a moment, her smile seemed to dim. "And I'm sorry about what I said earlier, about you not caring. I just-"

"It's okay Rudy."

"Ruby."

"Right. Anyway, get going." Ruby nodded before disappearing in a cloud of rose petals. _"She can turn into roses?"_ pondered Saitama. _"I hope she only does it outside. Some places make you pay if you dirty the place."_

Saitama wandered to the building he left his groceries on, before hopping up, grabbing them, and moving on his way.

" _To start off my new hero improvement quota,"_ he promised, _"I'll make sure to remember people's names. Starting with Ruby."_

The next time he met her, he called her Rhodonite.

* * *

 **Well, this took far longer to make than it should have, especially since I made two completely new stories when I should have been updating this and CHBB (other than it being the initials to my story, I'm fairly sure those initials are familiar. I'm not copying someone am I?), but at least I didn't actually spend much time on those other two stories.**

 **Now, onto the reviews. I'm not going to lie; it seems as if the guests have the best ideas so far. For example:**

 **A hedgehog Faunus? Adam vs Raven vs Sonic? You better believe I'll be hopping right on that!**

 **Salem and sales? Definitely worth a shot.**

 **This story is really good? Please, now you're just stating the obvious!**

 **Do I have autism? Um... no. No I do not.**

 **Cinder didn't seem surprised? Yeah, that's my bad. I didn't want things to drag on, and I was trying to keep the timings right because I didn't want to ignore Ruby's arrival, and... yeah.**

 **The fight scenes could be improved? True, they definitely can, so if you have any tips then send them my way. Alternatively, I'm thinking of searching up various fight scenes to get a better idea of how the authors do it.**

 **If you would be so kind, please feel free to tell me if I kept Ruby in character for this (we've seen her angry once, but let's face it she didn't act different whatsoever), and get excited for the next chapter. It's going to have the RWBY version of Genos, and before you ask, it is NOT Jaune or Penny. Not only are they obvious, they also don't quite fit the character motif. No, this is going to be much better than that...**

 **See you next time! Whenever that is.**

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 **Edit: forgot to say this earlier, but does anyone have a better idea for both the summary and the title? The original title was named specifically because of Raven's chapter, but I don't think it works that well anymore. Plus, the summary pretty much sucks. Send those in if you want.**


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